Condolence for my adored sister, Zetty Arfah Razali

Last night I received a phone call from my beloved buddy, Zetty. She whimper so hard that I couldn’t understand what she was about to say. A few seconds later I did grasp that her much-loved mom passed away around 6.45 that evening. I hold my gulp of air and I just couldn’t find the right words to say to comfort her at that moment. I’m truly devastated by the sudden news. From that moment my hands were shaking and all I could do is to text other mates to break the gloomy moment.



Dear Zetty, God knows how I wish to be there to cuddle you tight in my arms and tell you how much I love you and I am here for you. But I just can’t afford to go there and lend you my shoulders right now. I know you would understand but it’s just that myself felt this heart of mine wrenched because I am no where near to console you at this dreadful moment. I’m sorry sis, I would try my best to visit you once I’m able to. I promise.

Now for your devoted mama, we shall always recite suratul-Yassin & al-Fatihah and may Allah rest her soul among those with true faith, Amiiin..

Bewilderment never ends.. (Part 2)

Him: Knock Knock!

Me: ...

Him: Where about?

Me: No where

Him: Will u..?

Me: Empty. Cold. Bleak

Him: Listen. Mine = lucid

Me: U’ll regret

Him: Yes or No?

Me: *uncertain*

Him: I say YES. What say u?

Me: *weeping*

Him: No more tears. Buzz me if it’s gonna be YES.

Me: …

HIM: If No, I’ll be gone..for good

Me: YES… I was about to say YES


That was how a new chapter instigates on April 11th 2010

Bewilderment never ends..

Life has always been an untold mystery if you ask me. I’ve learn from my own mistakes and so did I discern from other people’s experiences. Not to say I am faultless but I’ve make an effort to be sentient of what-so-ever verdict that I am about to depict. Each and every one of us is given colossal choices in life which we have to eventually pick on our own. I comprehend that I have to choose whenever the situation compels me towards a defining moment of ambiguity.

Metaphorically, God has lent me a spruce looking attire. All this while I have been wearing this stunning garment for myself and I never did complain about anything. Everything about this particular piece is notable and I am certainly happy and proud to be dressed in it. Until one moment I’ve asked myself, am I fit enough to be in this charming piece of attire? All this while I realize that there were countless of people out there eyeing this particular piece of clothing. So I’ve decided to let go the precious clothe because I am certain that, there must be someone out there who deserve this ‘companion’ better than myself.

Sadly this fine clothe wouldn’t want to understand my situation. It really thought that all this while I’ve been playing games just for amusement and that notion somehow shatters my fragile heart. How could I not care for it after what I’ve gone through all these years..it is just about picking an option when the time is in need. Lord knows how difficult it is to make a verdict out of vagueness but that is the price that I have to pay for my choice of life.

A plain dress came to loom in front of me just the same moment I’m about to go bare.. Eventhough it is plain but the earnest and sensitiveness of its’ material caught my attention. This dress I’ve seen 5 years ago but only now it came by to say “hello”. Why is that so? I would never want to question fate. Now this dress willingly wants to be here, right here with me. Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah for the unpredictable voyage of mine. I would only pray that when the time comes, this dress would officially be mine for a lifetime InsyaAllah. Amiiinnn.